Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
