Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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