I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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