I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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