overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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