She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
