There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
