Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
