I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
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