i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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