Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
