I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
