You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
