i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize