I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
