I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
