I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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