Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
