Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
