im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
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i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
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The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize