Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
