Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize