Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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