Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
