the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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