i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Randomize
