Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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