Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
