I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
