sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
