so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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