My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
