Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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