I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
