After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
