she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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