We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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