Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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