Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
