I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
