it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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