She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
