Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
