Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
