I want to stick my p in your. b.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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