Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
