But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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