HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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