arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
