yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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