You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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