I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
