Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
