No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
