i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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