dude i'm inner monologue high
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
