please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
