So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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