hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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