Dual....:-)
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
