I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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