This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
