we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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