we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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