Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize